11.05.04 / Uncategorized / Author: admin

To describe my feelings about the childbirth experience I will use a quote from my grandmother:

“Natural childbirth is for animals.” – America Blom

Truer words were never spoken. I have incredible respect for anyone who survived natural childbirth, I could never have done it. I honestly believe I would have died. After 3 doses of meds to soften my cervix I started getting painful contractions at 3am. I woke up Rob who was sleeping on the horrible little cot they had given him a few hours earlier. The nurse offered me a IV pain meds but I stupidly said “no I think I can handle it until I get the epidural.” What the hell was I thinking? At about 6am I asked Rob to get my lip balm and he said that since I was “getting all beautiful I should put these on” and gave me a beautiful (and big) pair of diamond earrings that match my engagement ring! I was so shocked, I don’t know how he managed it! It was an even better surprise than my engagement ring was. (I told him a long time ago the I thought childbirth warranted jewelry but I certainly didn’t expect THIS!) The earrings took away the pain for a minute or two. It was tolerable pain with breathing until they started the Pitocin. I couldn’t get the epidural for about an hour and a half after the Pitocin started (needed more IV fluids). My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart although I was still only 4 cm. It was such horrible pain. The baby’s heartbeat was dropping very low during contractions so they put an oxygen mask on me and called the Doctor. The way the nurses and Doctor started scrambling, Rob and I were terrified that I would need an emergency C-Section. Eventually the heartbeat returned to an acceptable range and I was ready for the epidural. I was shaking uncontrollably from head to toe and so violently that I was afraid they wouldn’t be able to get the epidural in (felt like the way they describe “transition”.) When the epidural man came I loved him instantly. I will never forget his name was Felix and he was a little Hispanic man. He was very nice and assured me that he could get it in regardless of the shaking and contractions. By this time I had lost all fear of the needle, nothing could be more painful than the contractions. Rob held on to me while it was inserted. He did a great job of distracting me during the procedure. It hurt a little but only lasted a few seconds. I was shocked when Felix said the worst part was over. After about 15 minutes I was 95% pain free, although it did make me itch all over, which they say is common. By 11:00 I was 10 centimeters (that Pitocin is really strong.) I couldn’t feel the contractions in my stomach and was pretty well numb except for terrible pain in my tailbone area. Aside from that it was all pressure. Contractions didn’t feel the way I expected…it felt kinda like excruciating gas pains! I don’t know how anyone can survive the transition phase without screaming for drugs?!?!

Rob and I had planned that he would stand behind me or up by the head of the bed and hold my hand. I didn’t want him to see all the scary things that were going to happen “down there”. It didn’t work out this way at all. He and the nurse were each holding a leg back as I pushed. He watched everything and even was the one to count while I pushed. He couldn’t have been a better coach, I am eternally grateful that he helped me through the labor. After 8 hours of painful labor and over an hour of pushing Dr. McCance wanted to use the vacuum extractor to help her head out (like a suction cup with a cord attached.) I remember moaning in pain pretty loudly and thinking I was probably scaring my Mother who was surely hovering outside the door. (We were originally against the use of the vacuum, preferring forceps if something had to be used, but at the point I didn’t care what they did as long as the pain stopped). Rob nodded in approval and I trusted his judgment because I knew he could see everything that was happening ” down there” . It felt like she put a satellite dish inside me although it was really only the size of a coaster. With the vacuum her head was out with in about 3 pushes and after just a few contractions she was born. I never looked at down until they put her on my stomach. All I remember is seeing the top of her head and thinking she had a LOT of hair and that she was tiny. The nurses and Rob announced that she had red hair and blue eyes. Her hair looked very red and curly too when she first came out. After her bath we saw her hair was really straight and very long. Also the color is more of an auburn; it usually looks light brown but is very red in sunlight. Her eyebrows and eyelashes are pure blonde so who knows what hue she’ll end up being?!?! My guess is that the darker brown hair will fall out and the hair on her head will be blonder like her eyebrows. Rob ran around like a maniac between the baby, me, and the waiting room trying to be with everyone at once and taking pictures in between. I figure even if I look like hell in all those pictures that were taken at least I have pretty earrings on! Audrey came out rooting (and pooping) and was nursing within an hour of birth. I am so lucky that she nurses so easily. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s teaching me as we go along. The hospital nurse said she was the ” best nurser on the floor” (about 15- 20 babies on the floor) which made me quite proud 🙂 I understand to some extent how people say “you forget the pain,” but I will never truly forget and will NEVER utter that phrase to a pregnant women. Audrey was definitely worth every second of it…but I will have to think about whether or not I would want to go through that experience again. If I knew that I could NOT have the epidural again I would certainly not have another baby. (Even if I got more diamonds out of it too!) Since there is no absolute guarantee of getting one I will be nervous about ever attempting birth again. Besides, I have my hands full now and can’t imagine having to divide my attention anytime soon. Also, I can’t say enough about the great treatment we had at Morton Plant Hospital, undoubtedly worth the drive.

Here is a log of the 1st week post-hospital:

Saturday:

Got home from the hospital on Sat late afternoon. Grandma, Grandpa, Lorrie and her boyfriend Johnny were there to greet us. Grandma has been keeping the fridge stocked and has pre-cooked lots of meals for us. We walked into the house and it was full of the smell of my moms cooking, so comforting! Audrey slept well, from 1am – 4am but I didn’t get much. I spent 1/2 the night making sure she was still breathing.

Sunday:

We had a little scare tonight because Audrey wouldn’t poop! Called the nurse and they said to bring her in right away if nothing happens within 24 hours. At 5 am Audrey shoed us just how capable she was of pooping! I can’t believe it all managed to stay in the diaper…really gross! She spent lots of time with her Daddy today who is the only one who can get her to burp! I call him “The baby whisperer” because he’s so good at calming her when she’s fussy. He has been changing 80% of her diapers too, without ever being asked…he’s so good! My milk came in today, Pam Anderson has nothing on me…these things are huge and rock hard! Its a little painful! Today she sucked her thumb for the first time! She also let me trim and file her nails while she slept. She also had her first bath at home tonight. She cried in the tub from being cold, but once we dried her off she was very happy to be massaged with lotion by her Mommy and Auntie La. We figure she’s just like us, she loves the spa treatments 🙂

Monday:

Have a clogged milk duct, have an appointment for Wed. to have it checked out. Doesn’t hurt but could get infected so I have to be careful. None of the home remedies worked. 🙁 Rob went to work today and Lorrie and I stayed with the baby. She was a perfect angel the entire day, cried for a total of about 5 minutes. How did I get such a good baby? When she’s falling asleep she sometimes smiles (I know its probably gas, but its damn cute) My post-partum hormones are in full gear, everything makes me cry. Just thinking about her makes me tear up with happiness.

Tuesday:

Our 1st trip to the pediatrician today. Thank goodness Rob came because I can’t handle watching her get needles. Audrey was 6lb 4oz when she left the hospital. Now she’s 7lb 3oz! Doctor says that’s great and wants to see her at the end of next week to make sure she’s still gaining. Although breastfeeding is hard, Its so rewarding. Its a great feeling knowing that every oz she gained came from me. It would be a whole lot easier if someone else could feed her once in a while and I’m tied to the house for a month until I can pump. But the bonding I get to have with her could not be done with a bottle, its very special. She also has been sleeping really well overnight generally giving us two 3 – 4 hour stretches a night (1am – 4 am.. then 5 am – 8 am) (Yes, I’m knocking on wood as I type this.) I’m trying to learn to sleep when she sleeps, but its hard. I want to look at her every 3 minutes and make sure she’s ok. She went for her first walk around the block in her stroller this afternoon. The weather was beautiful and she seemed to enjoy it. It was good for me to walk a little. I woke up today feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. I’m trying to wean myself off the pain meds (every 4 hours) but its hard to go more than 6 or 7 hours without one.

Wednesday:

She was a little fussy overnight but we still got 2 stretches of 3 hours each. I’m starting to wonder if I will ever talk like a “normal adult” again. I feel like I say everything in that goofy sing-song Mommy voice! Audrey has many nicknames like Peanut, Sweet Pea, Angel Head, Butter Bean, Princess, Stinky Butt, and Daddy called her Fluffernutter today! The pain meds make me a little loopy so its hard to get sentences from my brain to my mouth sometimes. hard to understand why people abuse this stuff, it makes you feel so slow and stupid! Then again, I guess that’s what alcohol does too. See, I’m not making sense! I’m trying to wean myself off it but I still hurt pretty badly.

Thursday: One week old today! Went to the Dr. and everything is ok with the milk ducts. Also in less pain today. It was hard being away from the baby for those 2 hours. I starting thinking about how good she smells while waiting for the Doctor to come in and I started leaking all over the place! Grandma Rydzik brought over delicious chicken parmesan and cupcakes for dinner. Aunt Lorrie has been helping out all week and let me get a nice long nap yesterday. Sleep feels so luxurious now! Rob has been working on getting a post-pregnancy website together and plans to launch it on Mothers Day, I can’t wait!

Friday: Very happy today because I have lost 1/2 of my baby weight already – 20 pounds. My clothes still don’t fit, but I don’t plan on wearing much other than my pajamas for the next few weeks anyway. I’m giving myself 9 months to get it all off but would really like to have it gone in 6. Maybe this breastfeeding thing really will take the weight off?!?! Today was the first day I was alone for a few hours with Audrey and it was nice. This was reassuring because I wonder what I will do when Lorrie goes back to school and Robby goes back to work!?!? It’s nice to have an extra set of hands. Looking forward to my 1st Mother’s day this weekend, even though I already got my present. Did I mention I LOVE my earrings? Best possible Mother’s Day gift, aside from my little “peanut.”

Thoughts on my first Mothers Day:

What I’ve leaned so far about being a Mommy:

Babies (usually) have a way of telling you what they need – even if they can’t talk…

My hair and make up will have to wait…

More than 2 hours of sleep and a 15 minute shower can feel like the equivalent of a day at the spa…

Nothing on Earth smells as good as a your baby after a bath…

Baby swings are a necessity…

When a baby does not have a diaper under them, they will certainly poop

Babies are worth stretch marks and fat…

Swaddling really works…

Being a mommy strengthens your belief in God and miracles…

Daddies can comfort babies as well as Mommies, sometimes better…

Breastfeeding is hard work…

And most importantly…

I’ve learned just how much my mother loves me, even though I thought I had a clue before I was a mommy myself, I really didn’t.

I’ve learned just how close my husband and I really are. Again, something I thought I had a clue about before, but didn’t.